1) Publicly adjust their crotch
Are checking to see if its still there?
2) Faithfully go to sports events
Particularly when the weather is bad (rainy, cold, etc.) and you’re sitting there in the stadium trying to get the vendor’s attention while you freeze your balls off.
3) Have ridiculous techniques to try to hide hair loss
It’d look better completely shaved off than it does with that comb-over.
4) Have business meetings at gentlemen’s clubs
You’re not Tony Soprano. Besides, you have offices, or you could go to, like, Wendy’s. You don’t have to expense boobs.
5) Act like infants whenever they’re ill
You don’t have to get through your day while suffering from excruciating cramps, so a little bug a couple times a year feels like you’re dying.